Some time ago, I was dating an AMAZING person (we’ll call him Bob). We started talking really randomly, and then one thing led to another, soon after, he was “my boyfriend”. The particularity of this relationship is that it came after the one with MisterMan. With Bob, I knew what I wanted and what I absolutely did not want. But mostly, I wanted, first and most of all, to do what God wanted. While we had already fallen in love with each other, I felt that I really had to enter into prayer to ask God if this relationship was in line with His perfect will for my life, and for Bob’s life also.
So, I took a few days of prayer and fasting, for my life in general, but mainly for this particular topic. I’ll spare you the details of my inquiries to God, but I want to share what I asked for Bob.
Summary of my prayer: “Lord, I put Bob into your hands. I abandon his soul his heart his whole being all in your hands. You know him better than me father you his creator, you know what he needs. If I’m not the woman of his destiny, Lord, separate me from him. Father, I present our relationship before you; you know our hearts and you see the sincerity and purity of our feelings for one another. But you called both of us to serve you, and I refuse for any of the two of us to miss out on what you’ve got planned for us by staying together if this is not your will. Open my eyes and my ears Lord. May I see and hear the signs, let me not be blinded by feelings of the flesh. Talk to me like you want father: through a dream, through your servants or any other way that pleases you father. May my heart be convinced that it is you who speaks when I receive the message. If it is your will that we walk together for life, Lord, be our guide so that we may live this relationship in in purity until marriage. But if this is not your plan, Father gives us the strength to obey, and console our hearts. Prepare Bob for the woman you reserved for him, and are prepare me for the man you kept for me. Thy will be done Lord. Amen”
No lie, this was the hardest prayer I had to do this year. Every single one of my words echoed in my head, in my whole being. But I knew I had to pray with all my heart. After the episode with MisterMan, God showed me not only what I needed, but also what I deserved in terms of a life partner. And I have taken the firm decision not to accept anything less…
Shortly after starting my fast I start to see some signs … I ignored them. Then when the two weeks of prayer were over, we could finally see each other. That’s where I really started to understand that this relationship took directions that were not in God’s plan. But I still ignored it all; I wanted it work so bad (I was telling myself that there is not another great guy who is 6ft4 & over, and who fear God on the market 😂 ). Seriously, I really wanted this relationship to work! So, I was hardheaded. Then God spoke VERY, (even too) clearly through my pastor, who by the way knew nothing about anything of that relationship. You remember in my prayers I asked for an assurance, a conviction? Well, when my pastor told me what God showed him, I not only felt this conviction, but also a relief. And that same day, I broke up with Bob. Then I cried ☹. Then I prayed for him.
We continued to talk, and in our hearts, we still had hope. I remember telling myself that maybe I had ended things too fast. What if I fasted on that? There was a fight between my Spirit, which convinced me that I had done the right thing by obeying God, and my flesh, which still felt a strong thing for Bob. As I began to yield to carnal feelings, my mother, who was in Africa at the time, called me to tell me that a pastor and close family friend told them that God showed them that I was hardheadedly trying to continue a relationship that God had clearly showed me was not in his will. Note that neither my mother nor my father even knew that I was dating someone. To this day, they do not even know Bob’s real name or his face. These revelations really came from God himself. Thus, If God is repeated himself twice, that meant I really had to obey. It’s at this point that I completely let go and in my eyes, Bob was now just a friend, a brother in Christ. It really was not easy, but obedience is better than sacrifice (1 Samuel 15: 22).
To receive the best from God, we must obey him, trust him and dissociate from what we believe is the best of the best, but really does not even measure to what God wants to give us.
I tell you this story to encourage you to get rid of these relationships that you feel, or know, is not God’s will for you. Take the lesson that God wants you to draw from it and only keep a brotherly bond.
If you are about to engage seriously with someone, seek God and let him be the guide. If he says to stop it all: OBEY! If he gives you the green light, put him at the center of this relationship, and at every step consult him in order to see your relationship blossom.
By his grace, God spoke to me very clearly through his servants. But this is not always the case; the Lord also speaks through many signs. So keep your eye (spiritual) well open, pay attention to things that seem wrong and / or things that confirm that your relationship is pleasing to God and is in his plans. Pray (LOTS) for the person you are dating and use the discernment and wisdom we receive from the Holy Spirit.
And always remember that obedience is better than sacrifice. Trust God!