2 Corinthians 3:5
Growing up, I often felt like I was not enough. In many ways. I had talents, I was smart and had good grades (still do). I was funny (still am) and got along pretty well with people (things change…). But during a certain age bracket, the devil truly convinced me that the world had to revolve around me or else, I did not/ would never amount to anything/ touch and impact peoples’s hearts and lives…
No matter what I did and no matter the amount of attention it brought to me, I still felt like I did not get noticed enough. And when I felt noticed, I still was not satisfied because I convinced myself that I was not memorable, or worth anything. I was 100% sure that people would never speak about me in awe like they did about some friends, my sister or other relatives (which should not even be a DOTMH’s goal anyways!).
When I became a teenager, I took it upon myself to get noticed and remembered. The way I dressed, acted and spoke was all about that. I became very loud (I’m still pretty loud, so imagine how bad it was), I wore revealing and very colorful clothes. I was that girl who would dance on the cafeteria’s table… I did all this, (and other things better left unsaid), in the goal of being noticed and attract attention. #Thirsty
That person was not the real me. Deep down inside, I was suffering because That is not how God created me. I was forcing it! It ended up getting me into quite a lot of trouble and I got noticed for all the wrong reasons most of the times. Paradoxically, I always put people first… I know, your thinking: how did you want to be the center of the world, yet put people first? Well, partly because that is my real nature, but also because i wanted to be noticed, and remembered as the good friend. I sometimes did things just to please people and get their attention; it was not always from the goodness of my heart…
When I met Christ, he started breaking me in many ways and areas. But that one area, I must say was (and sometimes still is) one of the hardest one. God put me in many situations where I had to accept that it was NOT ABOUT ME. In my christian journey, I had to learn that I don’t have to be noticed by men to be worth something. The price Christ paid on the cross for me is the ultimate proof of my worth.
I AM WORTH DYING FOR!!! It was not always easy to grasp this truth, but I finally did and it was liberating.
The Holy Spirit still prompts me to check myself every now and then. He reminds me that I am not better than anyone because I sin differently… Sin is STILL sin! He reminds me that I should be patient with others because I need others to be patient with me too. And even when they fail, Christ is still patient with me and I ought to be like him. Bref, I still have my moments. But over all, I can add my attention seeking problem to my list of victories. Believe it or not, I am not a fan of the spot light anymore. That is why I resisted starting the blog and the YouTube channel for so long. And that is also why public speaking is a real challenge. One that I LOVE very much tho’!
If you realized through my words that you might have the same problem I had, Or that you know someone who struggles with being the center of the universe at all times. My prayers are directed towards you/them. Open your heart and let the love of God fill you and allow his Spirit to minister to you. And things will change for the better. Remember that the best attention we can get is from God . If you are noticed by men but God doesn’t know you, you have failed your life. As the bible says: “For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?” -Marc 8:36
Meditate these verses: 1 Samuel 16:7, 1 Corinthians 3:23, Proverbs 31:30, John 7:24
Also keep in mind that the amount of attention or recognition you get, or do not get, from men, do not determine your worth! Your worth is determined by your identity in Christ. You are ROYALTY; CHILD OF THE KING OF kings!
I hope you’ll finally understand that you are TO DIE for and that God gave his only son’s life so that yours can be eternal (John 3:16). This proves that your worth is immeasurable because the sacrifice for your salvation was immeasurable! “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” – Romans 5:8