“For this is the will of God, [even] your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication” -1 Thessalonians 4:3
Hello Princes and Princesses,
In the last article I quickly introduced the topic of abstinence. Advising my dear princesses not to give up the cookie before marriage. By the way, that advice applies to you too princes.
In this post we will start to go more in depth. Touching base on what exactly is abstinence, and why it is important not only for christians but really for everyone. We will will go over it’s pros and cons and I will try to give you some advices to help you on this bumpy journey. Because, NO, the journey of abstinence is not always fun and games.
We hear of abstinence, celibacy, sex deprivation ect. But what exactly is abstinence (celibacy)? The dictionary defines abstinence as follow:
Since we are speaking of sexual abstinence, here is a more complete definition:
“Sexual abstinence is the practice of refraining from some or all aspects of sexual activity for medical, psychological, legal, social, financial, philosophical, moral, or religious reasons.”
In simple words, I define abstinence as the act of purposely/consciously refraining from partaking in ANY type/form of sexual activity.
I have come to the conclusion that one cannot forced to be abstinent or celibate. God knows that our african mothers try to scare us out of the desire to discover sex by telling us all types of lies. In the majority of cases , let’s be honnest, that’s a huge fail! Mine told me that sex was not good and that I would get pregnant as soon as a boy touched me… She lied… I’m not going to sit here and tell you that sex does not feel good(well it depends on your partner too), there is pleasure in the act. However, it is BAD for your soul…
Anyways, I was saying that a person cannot be forced into abstinence. It has to come from their own self. Kinda like with baptism, you have to realize, to understand why you are choosing to do it and what it implies. In order to stand behind your choice,
you have to now your why! You live in a society that will throw sex in your face every chance it gets: (please explain the link between two people making out and a pack of gum?). So knowing what abstinence is and why you choose to practice it will strengthen your will power. Staying or becoming abstinent is something you and only you decide to do.
Some of you, especially those who have already been introduced to sex, are reading this and probably trying to figure out what kind of drug I am taking! Like “who in the world, in their right mind would purposely/willingly/consciously want nothing to do with sex?” Someone who understands that their body is a prized possession highly valued by the creator of all things. Someone who understands that they are absolutely not defined by the amount of men or women they attract and end up in bed with.
Someone who has real strength of character to go against what is normal in society because the reward of their choice will be much greater.
Many people forget that sex is not only a physical act (at least it was not meant to be). It is also emotional and spiritual. The bible says that “Don’t you know that anyone who is joined to someone who is sleeping around is one body with that person? The scripture says, The two will become one flesh.” – 1 Corinthians 6:16. When you sleep with someone who is not your husband/wife you leave them with a part of you and vice versa… I do not want to go into details about soul ties in this post, but sex is a powerful vessel of spirit transfer. Every time you engage in sexual intercourses with someone, whatever spiritual burden you carry, becomes yours as well, and vice versa. MAN!!!!! That is scary! And that is the #1 one reason why you should abstain from being sexually active until you are married.
I already hear some of you saying, “well what if I am not sleeping around but having sex with the same person and only them”. I have a question for you: is she your wife? Is he your husband? I hear y’all with the “well we are engaged”. Being engaged is not being married! You are still having sex outside of the “framework” for which it was created. Sex was crated to be enjoyed in a marriage! (I am not inviting you to get married just to have some sex and end up with a divorce). But what I am saying is the truth. Sex was created for a specific context/setting which is marriage. Therefore, whenever it is consumed outside of that context, there will be negative repercussions: unwanted pregnancies, someone “catching feelings”, spread of std’s etc. And that is the second reason why abstinence is the way to go.
When you are not married, you do not really owe the other person anything, thus, there are a lot more chances that your partner has one (or more) “side chick” (a popular movement in our generation). And the side chick might have 2 or 3 “sugar daddies”… Do you see the picture? Spiritual baggages and risk of std. Is it worth it? Just like a stove belongs in the kitchen, sex belongs in a married couple.
There are many other reason why it is important to remain celibate, but let me end with this 3rd one. Not having sex with the person you are dating, courting, getting to know etc., allows you to REALLY get to know each there in depth. Your mind is not clouded by their skills and how hot they look naked! Yes, having sex before marriage, – no matter what stage of the relationship you are at -, will alter your perception of your partner. You might overlook crucial characterics because you are blinded by how good they are in bed. You will , very possibly, end up wasting time and sometimes even getting married to someone who is not a good match for you in the long term. When you abstain from sex, your judgement is not impaired, you can spot the deal breakers and decided wether or not he or she is worth it.
I know that all I said so far goes against everything society shows/tells us. But society is not always right. It’s a two wrongs dont make a right type of thing. Any kind of sex before marriage is sin, and it does more harm than it does good.
Quickly, let me tell you the pros and cons of abstinence. From what I wrote above you can already guess some of the pros:
– It saves you from soul ties/sexually transmitted demons.
– It’s the best protection for unwanted pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases, and tons of head and heart aches.
– It allows you to make a sound judgement on the person you are dealing with.
– It helps you save money: no condoms, no plan b pills, no birth control to deal with= more money in the bank. CHING CHING!
– It adds even more value to who you are: let’s be honest we all grab the product at the back/the bottom of the row/bin because those in front have been touched by too many hands so they are deemed less valuable. 😉
As I mentioned earlier though, the journey is not always pink. There are dark days.
– Princes, you will HAVE to sometimes deal with “blue balls”, yes I said it. But God will help you.
– People will think you fell on the head! “Go home ET”
– Some days/nights, you will have to recite Matthew 6:13 and 1 Corinthiens 10:13 at east 100 000 times.
– You will have to say no to a couple good looking human beings who will want to eat the fruit before it is ripe!
Yes there are a few cons, but trust me it’ll all be worth it! I mean just look at the pros ! The price at the end of the race will be so sweet, you will quickly forget bout them cold sweats!
So this valentine days, keep the cookie in the box! 😉
Tune in on Tuesday for post #3. We will go into soul ties!
Don’t be shy, share your thoughts down bellow. 😉