Godly Dating 101 – #4: Potential Matters!

Hey princes and princesses! 😀

Not too long ago, I stumbled upon a post on a very popular blog. The headline was ”Date their reality, not their potential”, and it went on to explain why you should not date someone who has ”potential” if it’s not reflected in their reality.

no-matter-how-attractive-a-persons-potential-may-be-you-12029333Well, we are all entitled to our opinions but I TOTALLY, absolutely, completely disagree with this reasoning. I believe that you should date their potential while giving consideration to their reality. Here are the 3 reason why I think that potential matters A LOT!

1. A person’s reality does not always reflect what their future is made of. I have a wild imagination, so when I read the post, I pictured this: Imagine meeting David when he was a shepherd, after being anointed by Samuel (1 Samuel 16: 10-13). You guys start as friends and after sometimes he declares his love for you. Because you’ve been friends, you know about God’s promises for his life: the brother is A KING IN THE MAKING, he is full of potential, plus he is fine looking (1 Samuel 16: 10-13). However, his reality right at the moment is that of a shepherd, and then of a fugitive (1 Samuel 21-27). Let’s say you guys have a good chemestry and points in common, would you really not date him because of his reality? Does his potential as king to be not matter at all? Imagine saying no to dating him, and then seing God’s plan unfold in his life. Wouldn’t you regret not ”dating his potential”? What I am trying to say is that though you should not COMPLETELY disregard their reality, because you have to be okay with it for a while, keep in mind that if their future is truly in God’s hands, and they have great qualities (hard working, generous, intelligent, etc.), their potential will lead them, (and you), to beautiful places.

2. A man (or woman), who is in a good place right now (for instance because he comes from a wealthy family or something like that), but has no drive, is not better that a man in a less privileged situation but who is goal driven, and full of promises. Why? Well,  because misfortune can happen and your beau can loose his money. If he is not hardworking, and his promises tank is empty… Welp, you’ll be in trouble princess!However, with a man who is a goal getter, who has big plans and thinks of ways to make them happen, (there is a difference between reverie and ambition), you will never be in such troubles. Though his reality is not flamboyant, it is not a fatality; such a man is destined for greatness. When you know this, when you see that potential and you see him not wasting it (this is an important point), would you let his reality stop you? I advise you not to do that. The third point will explain why…


3. Most of the big men we admire today started from the bottom… now they’re ALL THE WAY UP! No seriously, here are a few examples of men from different walks of life that I admire and respect, who had nothing, (or not much) except potential and drive when they started dating and/or married their partner.   (I could not think of female examples as I wrote and reflected on this, but I am sure there are several ones.)

  • Barack Obama:
    • When he met his wife at the law firm where they both worked, he was HER mentoree. The reality was that Michelle Obama had a higher social status than him… She mentored her husband to be, who was a very ambitious and goal driven man. Had she stopped at the fact that carreer wise, she was above him, or as one of their former Harvard teacher said, ”she was better”, she would have never been the USA’s first black and most admire FLOTUS (let’s call a tie with Jackie Kennedy). His potential mattered and she did not let reality stop her from dating him! Michelle Obama dated Barack Obama’s Potential; now look at them today!
  • Do Won Chang:
    • The CEO of Forever 21 worked as a janitor, gas station attendant, and in a coffee shop at the same time to make ends meet when he first moved to America from Korea in the 80’s. Chang and his wife, Jin Sook, know what struggle means. Today, Chang is worth about 3.2 billion$ and Forever 21 is now an international, 790-store empire. Potential matters!
  • Pastor Roland Dalo:
    •  I dont want you to think that when I speak about potential I’m referring to money or material things only. Financial success is great. How ever, success, to me, is not limited to that. I love the Dalo couple!!! Their story is inspirational and it’s beautiful to hear where they came from and to see what they have built. As Pastor Dalo likes to say himself, he had nothing but God’s promises for his life (potential) when he started courting his wife, maman Viviane. Before her, he was rejected by the one he loved, because she now was in the USA and potential was no longer enough to stay in a relationship with pastor Roland. So she choose to choose to BREAK UP WITH HIM because she could not date his reality and miscalculated the greatness of his potential… I’m sure that  when she sees the man he is today, she wishes she had DATED HIS POTENTIAL instead of rejecting him because she could no longer stand his reality. Maman Viviane did the opposite; she believed in his potential, so she accepted and dated his reality. According to the story pastor Roland tells, in his always edifying cermons, maman Vivian came from a well off family and he came from the opposite. But she accepted him and stuck with him through thick and thin. She DID date his potential and look at them now. They are amazing mentors to many, have a beautiful family, a successful ministry and they don’t complain/lack (I suppose) when it comes to money.


What I want you to take from this post, princes and princesses, is that potential matters. A man without a vision is like a plated gold jewlery ; he will stop shining eventually. The same applies to women. Take in consideration the person’s reality, but if they are hard working and do not waste their potential, dont let their today stop you from sharing their beautiful tomorrow.

I hope this post will help you, and I pray the Holy Spirit will give you wisdom as he guides you into the hands of the right one.

Be blessed,

#DaughterOfTheMostHigh ❤

3 thoughts on “Godly Dating 101 – #4: Potential Matters!

  1. Wow this is so true! Potential is important but you also have to know if a person is a activating their potential and if the potential has a high chance of actually becoming a reality in tht person’s life. Eventually you want that person to come to full fruition and contribute to your life and happiness in a great way!…Good one!

    Liked by 1 person

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